Timmy and I have always wanted a big family. I have struggled coming to terms that this may not be the case for us. We have gone maybe 4 out of 10 years without trying for kids, and it constantly consumes my thoughts and desires. This past fall being told that I had Cystic Fibrosis was very frustrating and at one point I thought to myself "Well, I guess this is it." After I said that my hotheadedness came out and I immediately said out loud "You can throw anything at me and I won't stop trying to have kids." I was mad; I couldn't think of one more thing that my Heavenly Father could throw at me. I had already been through a loss, a son born early, a miscarriage and now a terminal genetic disease. I know there are much worse things out there, so I won't even go there. Now that I have had a chest CT, the doctors found Myobacterium Avium Complex (MAC) on my right lung. This disease is related to tuberculosis (TB), the treatment is the same, but the actual disease I have read is a lot less severe, with hardly any symptoms. Nausea, night sweats, fatigue and shortness of breath are a few. I have all of these symptoms, but just assumed it was my body and have never really noticed a difference. The only problem with getting treated is that it is so long; approximately 18 months, and I would like another baby. My current options are wait and get treated, get pregnant and push treatment back, find a surrogate, or adopt. I am really okay with any or all options, I just want it to be safe for me and my baby.
This first paragraph was written about 4 months ago, I was really down about our options and didn't know which process to start. We started doing a lot of research and got information for adoption, and foster care. I don't know why I never published it, but since then we have had some really amazing news. I will be going through another cycle of IVF and we will also be using a surrogate!! Meet my amazing sister in law Joanna Williams.
A few months after this was written she came to me and said she felt like she was physically done having kids, but she was not done having children she wanted to carry a baby for us, Timmy was not with me at the time, and neither was her husband. She said that she had talked to Jason and he was really not on board with the idea, but told him to think about it for a few weeks and then let her know. We were sitting at one of Timmy's sisters house making ribbons for an officer who had passed away. As Joanna and I were making ribbons, Jason came in and was crying, he came up to me and gave me the biggest hug and said "I know this is what we are suppose to do, lets get you a baby!!" I think this had come as a shock to Jo because she had just mentioned it to him the night before. As we were all sitting there crying, I had the biggest relief come over me. I knew that this was part of the answers to my prayers. Timmy and I had been trying so hard, looked into every option, and we know this is the best thing for our family, we can't wait to see what happens and live the journey.
This first paragraph was written about 4 months ago, I was really down about our options and didn't know which process to start. We started doing a lot of research and got information for adoption, and foster care. I don't know why I never published it, but since then we have had some really amazing news. I will be going through another cycle of IVF and we will also be using a surrogate!! Meet my amazing sister in law Joanna Williams.
A few months after this was written she came to me and said she felt like she was physically done having kids, but she was not done having children she wanted to carry a baby for us, Timmy was not with me at the time, and neither was her husband. She said that she had talked to Jason and he was really not on board with the idea, but told him to think about it for a few weeks and then let her know. We were sitting at one of Timmy's sisters house making ribbons for an officer who had passed away. As Joanna and I were making ribbons, Jason came in and was crying, he came up to me and gave me the biggest hug and said "I know this is what we are suppose to do, lets get you a baby!!" I think this had come as a shock to Jo because she had just mentioned it to him the night before. As we were all sitting there crying, I had the biggest relief come over me. I knew that this was part of the answers to my prayers. Timmy and I had been trying so hard, looked into every option, and we know this is the best thing for our family, we can't wait to see what happens and live the journey.
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