Steps of IVF with a surrogate

The process of IVF it difficult, expensive, takes time, and is stressful. With a surrogate and the laws in the state of Utah, plus IVF is sometimes almost unbearable for my mind to comprehend. I have been reminded that if I want a baby, then I just need to get over what the laws are and just "jump the hoops." My mind is great at thinking of all the worst case scenarios and living them in my mind. This in the past has put me in really bad places, and has caused depression. Luckily the staff at Utah Fertility Center are great at helping you through the process and leading you in the right direction. The other thing that has been so great is that Joanna and Jason are all for us getting a baby and we have been on the same side with everything. I am so lucky to have so many people helping me try and get a baby here for us. I am going to walk you through the steps thus far that we have done to get us to the beginning stages of IVF with a surrogate

1. Talk with the fertility center of your choice for an initial consultation we have used Utah Fertility Center every time, we love them, and would never use another clinic. (Every time you start IVF you need one of these) at this appointment you will talk about what you will need to have done to start. 
2. Get labs drawn and have a water ultrasound. Both Joanna and Jason both had labs. (water ultrasound is about $450)
3. Start birth control ($30 a pack) 
4. Contact the Reproductive attorney of your choice preferably in the state in which the baby will be born. The attorney that we have been using, has been awesome at answering questions over the phone about insurance, price, and other legal questions we have had. Of course you only need an attorney if you are using a surrogate.
5. This is about where I had our egg retrieval, depending on what fertility clinic you use and what you have to do; ours cost about $8,500. We also did PGS which is an extra $4,000.
6. Contact a licensed Clinical Psychologist that specializes in fertility. We were recommended to see Human Potential in Salt Lake City. Both couples will need an appointment. $275 a couple
7. Once your surrogate has medical clearance from the fertility center contact the attorney again and get started on the contracts. Contracts are approx $2,000 and to have the court fees and home study $2,500 (yes, we have to have a home study; even though it's our baby). 
8. Your IVF coordinator will give you a color coded calendar that tells you when you appointments and when you start and stop a medication.
9. For the transfer it will be $6,400 for our surrogate and $4,500 for myself.   

You may be asking yourself; how could anyone ever afford this?? Although it is very expensive, we have saved; taken out loans on vehicles that were paid off, and opened numerous credit cards. There are many different options that I will talk about in another post. This is where we are at in the process of things. Our transfer date is October 28th and we are just so nervously excited. There are so many legal things that have to take place to have a surrogate, this part is actually more expensive than having the embryo transfer for our surrogate. Unfortunately this is just the way things go. Like I said earlier, no matter what happens it is our baby; even if we are called the "intended parents." Even if we have to get a court order for us to be on the birth certificate, we are still the parents. In the long run, none of this stuff is important. The only important thing is that WE ARE THE PARENTS, we have worked so hard for these babies and want them so much.