10 Things I have learned through struggling with infertility

Things I have learned from infertility

• Things cannot be rushed. I am a person that likes having a plan and answers. Sometimes the plan is just to wait. I do not like waiting and people who know me would not call me a patient person. Patients is one thing that you will definitely learn through the infertility process. 
• Try to relax. RELAX yeah right...infertility is stressful. You don't know the plan, you don't have answers, you feel rushed, you want a baby. I get it, but being stressed out will only cause more troubles for you. I admit during all my years of infertility I have had numerous breakdowns, cries, and panic attacks. The best thing I could tell you is focus on the reason you are doing it...remember you can always take a break, or go slower. Someone said to me with my last miscarriage "You know you don't even have to do this..." That was when I realized all the stress, not knowing, and not having answers was exactly what I wanted. Because I want a baby. 
• You can't control anything about fertility. This was the hardest thing I had to learn. Everything that happens to you or your baby or your hubby is not always controllable. You can't control how many eggs you get, or if the baby will attach, or even how your body will react to all of it. I wanted answers, I wanted to be able to fix everything, and you just can't. The sooner you realize this the more at ease you will be. God in the end has wheel. 
• Try to find things that make you happy. Go on dates with your spouse, travel, see a movie, get a hobby, help others. Taking time out for yourself can help your mind quiet, your soul feel fulfilled and make the waiting game so much easier. 
• There is always a reason to be happy. I used to have to look forward to one thing during the week that made me feel happy, or get me excited, sometimes even just to make the time go by faster. There is always a reason to be happy. 
• It is okay to get help. After I had my first baby I had postpartum depression pretty bad. Believe me I didn't want it, and I was still happy I was a mom. My hormones do not regulate themselves very well and I have no come to terms that maybe I will always be on depression medication, maybe I won't. It is okay to talk to someone about the way you feel. It may seem embarrassing or taboo, but everyone is crazy....Everyone's crazy looks different. 
• You can do whatever you want to do. People have opinions about EVERYTHING and they have no problems telling you what you should and shouldn't do. You do whatever you think is best for you and your family. Everyone has intuition, use yours, make it stronger. 
• Find someone to talk to with no judgement. This was for sure my husband. He was going though similar feelings and talking to him even with him not saying anything back was comforting. Just so he would know how I felt. But it doesn't have to be a spouse it can be a friend, a sibling and if you don't have anyone, just start writing. 
• People want to help. Our first IVF process we were so excited to share with our family and friends what was going on. In the end I felt overwhelmed because so many bad things happened the second time I thought it would be better to keep it to ourselves. Man, did that backfire. After I miscarried no one knew I was even pregnant and when I needed help with my son, my house, and myself no one knew. The third time I decided I would write things down, share them in a blog, and tell my family and friends. People want to help and people need help as well. I hope there maybe there is at least one person that is reading this that I am helping. 
• Going through IVF is totally worth it. Infertility is expensive right?? No kidding. After the consultation, the meds, the visits, the surgeries, the labs. It can get very overwhelming. We have taken out loans on our cars, opened credit card accounts, had yard sales, opened a gofundme account, had people donate....but let me tell you. In the end the heartache, the sleepless nights, the pain, the crying and the whole process is worth it. There is no amount of love that I could compare having a baby too. Whether you decide to adopt, foster, or infertility if you want a baby, don't give up because it is worth it, and you are worth it!